Flashpoint Season 2 PostEpisode Drabbles
by SuzSeb
Summary: Here is my continuation of the Flashpoint Post-Episode drabbles. Again - the focus is Sam
1. Chapter 1 Eagle Two

FF_992224_10/15/2009

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint.

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Sam lay silently awake next to a sleeping Jules. He already knew the next morning was gonna be tough. He knew Jules still didn't understand why he was here. She thought it was just attraction. And Sam couldn't admit to her how far he'd fallen.

She still thought he felt sorry for her after the incident today. But that wasn't it. Sam had been amazed at her drive and determination, and astonished by her remarkable courage. If Jules hadn't been such a towering column of strength, Mrs. Graham probably wouldn't have been able to stay so calm, so supportive of her husband. And Sam knew the outcome could have been much worse.

No, Sam hadn't kissed Jules out of pity or lust, or even to make her feel better. He'd kissed her out of admiration and, he was honest enough to admit to himself, out of the beginnings of love. Yeah, tomorrow morning was really gonna be tough.

Sam knew there was no way Jules felt the same way he did. She'd slept with him in an effort to keep from thinking about what could have happened. Sam recognized the signs. After all, he'd done it before himself. Tomorrow Jules would not only feel guilty about the incident today, but probably about sleeping with him as well. Sam quietly decided he'd take whatever recriminations she threw at him. It was the least he could do.

Sam looked at the sleeping form next to him, a mixture of love and sadness on his face. "I love you," he mouthed, making sure no sound escaped. He hoped their relationship would grow and bloom and he didn't want to scare Jules away by expressing his deep feelings too soon. And yet, something told him it wasn't gonna be that easy. Something told him his fall just might end on the hard concrete of reality. Sam took one more look, sighed and closed his eyes to try to sleep.

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A/N: Please review if you can. I'd like to know if people are enjoying these. :)


	2. Chapter 2 Backwards Day

FF_992224_10/18/2009

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint.

A/N: And I wish Season 3 was on in the US already!

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Sam was glad the team was working out in the weight room today. It gave him time by himself to think. Time he didn't have otherwise. All his free time was being spent with Jules. He'd tried to slow it down, to take a break. But Jules just crooked her finger and he couldn't say no. He loved her too much.

Sam took a small break and got a drink. When he started back up, his thoughts went back to yesterday. It really had been Backwards Day. He'd been accused more than once of being too ready to jump into action; told that he needed to make a connection with the subjects. And he had. He'd connected with Sarah. He'd had her talked down. She just wanted the truth. And when Sam had given it to her, she'd been ready to walk out of there. There was no way he could have foreseen the hostage would escalate.

Sam knew how Sarah felt – just wanting to know the truth. Jules kept their relationship under tighter security than an airport these days. And when he tried to discuss it, all he got was circular arguments and 'I don't knows'. He didn't have a clue how Jules really felt about him – about them. Sam couldn't blame Jules too much though. He was so afraid of losing her he said pretty much the same things.

But thinking back through everything Jules was saying, it didn't seem like she was willing to take any chances for what they had. Sam was. But he didn't think Jules wanted to hear that from him. Sam silently contemplated leaving Team One. Jules was worth it. What Sam didn't know was if their relationship would survive the separation.

Sam started when he heard his name called in his ear. "Focused Samtastic?" Lou joked with a smile.

Sam reluctantly smiled back. "Yeah," he admitted. "What's up?"

"Briefing in fifteen," Wordy said on his way by.

Sam nodded and made his way into the lockers for a quick rinse before the briefing.

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A/N: Hope you like it! :)


	3. Chapter 3 Haunting the Barn

FF_992224_10/22/2009

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint - if I did, it'd be on in the US! :(

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Sam waited silently as Greg left with Daniel and Michelle Rangford. He stood with Wordy, Troy and the others and watched as Ed slowly and unsteadily moved to the lockers. He wasn't listening to what the others were saying; his eyes were following his teammate, the concern plain to see.

Wordy finally got his attention. "He'll be ok," he murmured. "Sophie will be there."

Sam looked at Wordy, his eyebrows raised.

Wordy held his phone up in his hand, "I gave her a heads-up," he explained.

Sam nodded. "You see that a lot?" he asked quietly. He could see Troy and the others had backed up a couple steps to give the teammates a little privacy.

"Not really," Wordy replied. "It's the first I've ever seen with one of ours."

Troy, sensing the private discussion was over, had drifted back. "You usually see it with SWAT. But we're not traditional SWAT. Our results are usually less negative, so the occurrences are much fewer. But it still happens."

Sam nodded and suggested softly. "You can burn out at anything. It's just a lot more dramatic in professions that use weapons." He watched the others consider that thought, then nod in agreement.

They all looked up as Spike, Lou and Jules came in. "How'd it go?" Wordy asked.

"It wasn't real," Spike replied. "Danny just wanted to keep us busy. What went down here?"

"Ed talked him down," Sam said quietly. "Greg's got Sergeant Rangford, and Ed went home."

They all nodded. Jules discreetly caught Sam's eye and made a nearly imperceptible nod towards her locker room. Sam inclined his head a little in response. Usually Jules' stealth methods irritated him, but today he was distracted.

When he caught up with Jules in her locker room later he was still deep in thought. Finally, after they'd met up with the others at the bar, Jules had had enough. "What is it, Sam?" she demanded.

"What is what, Jules?" Sam asked, trying to avoid the issue.

"What's bothering you about what happened today?" Jules refused to let him avoid the subject. The others looked at Sam with interest.

"I guess I was just regretting that I wasn't there for Dave the way Ed was there for Sergeant Rangford," Sam admitted quietly.

"Dave was in Afghanistan," Jules reminded him. "Maybe if you'd been there…" she let her voice trail off for a moment.

"I don't know if I'd have seen it then," Sam admitted, "or if I would have wanted to see it."

"If I know anything at all, I know one thing about you, Sam." They all looked up at Ed in surprise. He smirked at them and pulled up a seat. Sam was glad to see he looked more like himself – less devastated.

"What?" Sam asked, meeting Ed's eyes.

"You always do your best for your friends," Ed said quietly and sincerely. "You might not have had the knowledge and understanding you have now. But if you'd have been there, you would have done your best to save him." He held Sam's gaze a moment longer until Sam nodded in acceptance. Ed smiled and leaned back, enjoying watching his friends and teammates, as Wordy grabbed him a beer and passed the pretzels.

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A/N: Please review if you like.


	4. Chapter 4 Between Heartbeats

FF_992224_10/25/2009

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint.

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"Jules…" All Sam could hear was the impact of the bullet hitting her back. Every time he closed his eyes; every time he stopped to think. And then he'd relive the seeming hours it took to get to her side.

If only he'd moved to her side sooner. But they hadn't known where the sniper was. How could he have protected her when he didn't know what direction the shot would be coming from? That's what everyone said. And yet, Sam had this irrational feeling that he should have known – somehow he should have known and protected her.

No one else blamed him. Not any of his teammates. Ed was too busy blaming himself. But Sam couldn't blame Ed – he'd just been doing his job at First York. They all knew that. Ed had been cleared, and the wrongful death suit was dismissed. It wasn't Ed's fault.

Sam didn't know what his teammates thought about his actions since Jules was shot. He could tell that Jules had been right that day – the Sarge knew about their relationship. Sam could tell by the way he was reacting. As for the others, Sam didn't know and he didn't care. He was just trying to recover from almost losing the woman he loved.

He'd tried to tell her. He'd tried to say those words to her. But she wouldn't hear it. She either stopped him with her hand over his mouth or with a kiss, or she turned away and pretended she didn't hear. Sam didn't know how to deal with it. It hurt, but Jules didn't care. And Sam loved her too much to walk away. He knew Jules was going to end it, but Sam loved her too much to walk away until she did.

Sam shoved all the pain and guilt down and plastered a smile on his face before entering Jules' hospital room.

"Hey Jules," he said as he entered the room. Seeing they were alone, he continued, "How are ya feelin' sweetheart?"

"I'm feeling like I've been shot," Jules groused. "Where've you been?"

"I was working," Sam replied, struggling not to take it personally. "I got here as quick as I could." He leaned down to kiss her but Jules turned her head away.

Sam sighed silently. Another one of _those_ nights. He held firmly on to his patience. He knew things would get better once Jules was able to get up and move around. He began telling her about his shift and their teammates. By the time Jules fell asleep, she had a smile on her face and was holding his hand.

Sam gently laid her hand back on the bed. "Sleep well, sweetheart," he whispered and kissed her forehead. Sam quietly turned out the light and left after pulling her blankets up and tucking her in.

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A/N: Please read and review. :)


	5. Chapter 5 Business as Usual

FF_992224_ 8/22/2010

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I haven't abandoned this fic. I just had a real hard time with the next episode (2.06) and I haven't been posting one until the next's been done. It's done and hopefully I won't get stuck like that again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint

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"It hurt," Sam thought, numbly. It actually physically _hurt_ to watch Donna Sabine walk into Jules' locker room. He could see it on her face – the excitement, the elation at making the team. His thoughts went back to his discussion this morning with Jules. She was expecting this. And yet, Sam knew it would hurt her, too.

Sam's lips twitched and he silently sighed as he remembered Jules' complaints about flowers this morning. She was gonna be even more down after hearing about her replacement. Sam winced and paused as he was changing his shirt. It was probably better not to put it that way. Maybe he should just call her the temp.

Sam sighed silently again. The others were making plans to take Donna out as a "Welcome to the Team" gesture. He couldn't miss it. But he knew Jules wouldn't understand.

Sitting in the bar with his teammates, Sam didn't have much to say. The others were discussing the call they'd gone on, explaining the situation to Donna. Ed noticed he was silent and prodded him until he spoke up.

Sam just shrugged and said, "Sometimes you're in the middle of the action and others you're just backup. Today I was just backup." He shrugged again and ignored the glare Ed sent him.

"You had the Sierra shot?" Donna asked.

Sam jerked out a nod, his neutral expression slipping into a frown.

"What's that like?" Donna apparently didn't see or understand the frown.

Sam's face went completely blank and he stood abruptly. "Bathroom," he muttered and strode away.

"Was it something I said?" he heard Donna ask as he moved away.

He knew he wasn't going to get away clean, but he headed to the bar after leaving the restroom, and asked for his tab.

"Sam," it was Wordy who'd come over, "You need to give her a chance."

Sam met his gaze but didn't allow the anger he felt at the others' easy acceptance of a replacement for Jules to show. "I'll give her the same chance I'd give any temporary replacement," he said, calmly and quietly. "I'm headed to see Jules. I'll tell her you all said hi." Sam turned and made his way out of the bar. He felt the disapproval of his teammates on his back, but it didn't stop him.

Sam entered his apartment and threw his keys on his side table. It'd been as bad as he feared. Jules had been upset she'd been replaced. Sam knew it was worse that her replacement was another woman. All he'd been able to do was keep reassuring Jules that she'd make it back.

He felt the ache of the tears in the back of his throat. He couldn't let them fall. Between the disapproval of his teammates and Jules' anguish, Sam felt torn in two.

He sank into his couch and put his head in his hands. He took a deep breath and held it until he felt he could release it without breaking down. He continued with the breathing technique, struggling to keep his mind blank, until he knew he was calm enough to sleep. He was going to need all the rest he could get to make it through the next tough weeks.

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A/N: Let me know if you like it.


	6. Chapter 6 The Fortress

FF_992224_ 8/28/2010

A/N: I really struggled with this one. Hopefully you'll like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint.

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Sam felt cut off from the rest of Team One. He felt alone. They didn't seem to care about Jules anymore. Donna just walked in and took her place. She was everyone's new best friend, except him. Sam was still loyal to his old best friend.

It really made him angry when Donna just walked into the weight room and took over the conversation. It was as if she thought she'd been around for years; as if she wasn't a temporary replacement. And the other guys just accepted it! They didn't seem to see or care that she was trying to take Jules' rightful place.

Sam knew he had to work with Donna. And he did. He covered her like a teammate and trusted her to cover him. But he didn't have to socialize with her off the job. He didn't _**have**_ to drink with her; he didn't _**have**_ to laugh with her.

When the call came in, Sam stopped his solitary musings and focused on the incident. It was always worse when there were children involved. When it was over, he was drained. They _**had**_ saved the children. But Dennis Milford was gone. Sam knew the boss was going to regret that for a while. It was who he was.

But the rest of the team all stopped at the desk and were letting off a little steam when Donna swept in again. Wordy turned toward her and Sam just couldn't stay and watch any more. Jules was waiting and she'd want a blow-by-blow of the action. Knowing Jules, Sam figured she'd call the boss and give him a stern talking-to about his feelings of guilt. After one last resentful look back at the team, Sam moved a little faster. He couldn't wait to spend the time with Jules.

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A/N: Please let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7 Clean Hands

FF_992224_ 4/2/2011

A/N: One of the things that struck me about this episode was Sam's stillness during the debriefing. He never moved. I wondered what could be going through his mind. This is my take on it. I hope you like it.

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Sam sat at the table in the briefing room, numb. He barely heard Greg's recitation of the facts and events that'd happened earlier that day. He didn't know what to think; what to feel. He'd come so close to dying today, more than once. And most of it wasn't his fault. Sure, in hindsight, he probably shouldn't have jumped on the grenade. But that was instinct, reaction. It was what he'd been trained to do in the military. And he'd done his best to follow SRU guidelines the rest of the incident. He'd connected with his captor over their shared military experiences. And he'd tried to understand Volcek's point of view – his rage at the serial killer. But Volcek had shot down his attempts at negotiating his own release. And Sam had had to stand there, on the wrong side of the metaphorical negotiating table and wait for his team to save him. He wasn't used to waiting for a rescue.

He stared off into space as he remembered the grenade at his chest. He'd looked at Greg. They both knew that Volcek was capable of using it. Sam even had the impression that Volcek _**wanted**_ to use it. And yet, Sam had seen something else in his boss's eyes. Flicking his glance around without moving his head, he'd seen Ed and Lew moving his way. He hadn't recognized the weapon in Ed's hands for a moment. Then it dawned on him – it was the damned slug. He'd tensed, watching Greg and the others; knowing that the timing was going to have to be split-second, or he'd end up dead along with Volcek. Sam had kept his eyes moving. When he'd caught Ed's movement stopping, he'd gone for the distraction, hoping, praying, that the slug would work and Volcek could be subdued.

He'd almost lost it after the others wrestled Volcek to the ground, but his training snapped in – his training as General Braddock's son, that is. Never show weakness. Never let your emotions show in public. Be the toughest one in the room. He never could measure up to the General's standards, but the training did help him keep his composure at that moment.

Then he'd done his best to re-connect with Volcek and convince him to turn on his partner. But he was just as surprised as everyone when Agent Semple turned out to be that partner. He'd jumped on that grenade for Semple. He didn't know how he felt about that: risking his life for an agent that went over the line. His attention was caught when Ed asked Donna how it'd gone with SIU. He studied her face, wondering if she was going to get past this. He wondered if she was going to be able to accept that she'd done the right thing by shooting 'a cop', as she said. She'd had it worse than he had: he'd risked his life, but Donna had taken a life. It was always harder to take someone else's life than to risk your own. After all, they did that on a daily basis.

Sam blinked when Donna asked if their hands were clean. No one knew how to answer her. Sam knew she'd have to find that answer on her own. He hoped her search wouldn't affect her performance with the team. He sat, still silent, while the others got up and left the briefing room. He continued to stare at Donna's now empty seat, just replaying various things in his head, until Greg interrupted by saying his name. He blinked a couple times, and then focused on his boss.

"How about I give you a ride home?" Greg asked quietly.

Sam still didn't respond verbally, but he pushed himself away from the table and slowly fought his way to his feet. He suppressed a groan at the pain that flared through his ribs at his movement. As he followed his boss down the hall, he quietly wondered if he'd be subjected to an interrogation on the way home. He shrugged to himself, wincing as the movement brought more pain. He was definitely too sore to ride his bike home, so the boss's offer was the only choice.

Sam was surprised when Greg didn't question him at all as they travelled through the city. Aside from the radio, the car was silent. He was even more surprised when he recognized that Greg wasn't taking him home. He was taking him to Jules'.

As he looked over at his boss, the shock evident on his face, Greg said, "I don't want you to be alone tonight. And I figured you'd be most comfortable with Jules."

Sam raised his eyebrows, but inclined his head in acceptance. He wasn't expecting Greg to get out with him. When their eyes met, Sam knew he wasn't going to be able to make light of the situation to Jules. Their boss was going to tell her what'd happened and that he needed to be watched overnight. He sighed quietly, but made no other protest. Looking up at the house, Sam quietly prepared himself for Jules' reaction. He'd relax later, once he was home, because once Jules knew what'd happened, she'd be fussing over him all night. Another sigh escaped before Sam followed his boss into Jules' house.

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Please review.


	8. Chapter 8 Aisle 13

FF_992224_1010264726 6/23/11

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Sam left the coffee shop, feeling battered and bruised. First Ed, and now Jules… It was a jolt of pain right through his chest when he'd heard the words she'd said. "I love you Sam, but…" She loved him, but not enough. As he slowly made his way home, he wondered what was wrong with him. What had he done; what was he that no one could ever love him enough to stay? Her job – the team came first.

Oh, yeah, there was that other option. And Jules had even mentioned it. But her eyes dared him to offer it. He could see that there was no way Jules would change teams for him. And if he had offered… He knew she would have some reason why it wouldn't work.

If he was honest with himself, he had known this was coming. He hadn't wanted to face it, though. So he kept putting off the discussion, hoping that something would have changed by the time they got there. But it hadn't. And Sam was sure it wouldn't. Something about him kept everyone he loved from caring enough to stay. It had happened enough that he just needed to accept that he would be alone for the rest of his life.

So he was going to have to go back to work tomorrow like nothing important had happened. He was going to have to shove all his pain back behind his mask and get through the days somehow. He knew he could never get over her. He really loves Jules. He knew he always will. But somehow he was going to have to live without her.

Walking into his apartment, Sam quietly considered the space. It was small and sparsely furnished. He had the basics. Wincing, he thought that could be applied to his entire life. He had the basics: one father – who was consistently disappointed in him, one mother – who was more interested in potential grandchildren than her own son, co-workers – none of whom were close enough to really call friends, old military buddies – who would ostracize him in a flash if they knew why he'd left the military. Oh, and one now ex-girlfriend – who he'd have to work next to as if nothing had ever happened between them. What a spectacular life.

It didn't take long for Sam to put his things away. He glanced into the kitchen, but wasn't hungry. The ache in his chest kept pulling him down. He rubbed it unconsciously, and then stopped when he realized no amount of rubbing would soothe the pain. He went into the bathroom and took a shower. But though he stayed there until the hot water faded, he couldn't wash the heartache away. Glancing into the bedroom, Sam knew he wouldn't be spending many nights in there for a while. Sleeping alone again was going to take some getting used to. Pulling a beer from the fridge, Sam stretched out on the couch and flicked the TV on. Maybe something there would be able to lull him to sleep. But he doubted it. He sighed and contemplated his ceiling. So he was back to this – staring at the ceiling and hoping for some rest, eventually…

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A/N: Let me know if you like it.


	9. Chapter 9 The Perfect Family

FF_992224_1050062448 6/23/11

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No one was talking about it, but Sam could feel a new tension between Greg, Ed and Donna. He'd come back from his two weeks off, right back into the tension-filled locker room. Ed turned from Greg to him with relief. Sam patiently answered his questions, counting it a success when he actually startled a laugh out of the Team Leader.

He saw Greg force away whatever was troubling him and make an effort to join in with the teasing from his other teammates. He waited until both leaders had left along with Wordy before cocking an eyebrow at Spike and Lew. Lew looked uncomfortable. Spike just raised his own eyebrows as if to say, "What?"

"Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?" Sam asked, keeping his tone casual and innocent, though his eyes watched them knowingly.

"Yeah," Wordy startled him with his reply. He'd thought Wordy left with Ed and the Boss. Wordy looked at Spike and Lew. "I told you he'd notice," Wordy smirked. He held out his hand and Sam had to grin as both teammates reluctantly slapped a ten dollar bill into his waiting palm.

Then Wordy looked at Sam and his expression turned serious. "We were at an incident; the Boss called Scorpio, and Donna didn't fire. She said she didn't have a shot, but from what I'm seeing, both Ed and the Boss disagree. Granted it was a shot at a kid holding a baby, but the bottom line is, she didn't take the shot." He sighed quietly. "Ed's trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but Greg wants him to call her on it. Ed wants to give her more time."

Sam nodded quietly but didn't say anything. That would definitely explain the tension. He looked up when Spike cleared his throat.

"Sooo,…" Spike was watching him intently. Sam raised his eyebrow in question. "So what do you think?" Spike blurted out.

Sam shrugged. Even though he didn't necessarily like Donna, he knew better than to make judgments without seeing and understanding the situation. "I think I wasn't here to know what happened," he replied. "I think I trust whatever resolution Ed and the Boss come to, because I trust them." He met all three of his teammates' eyes. "I know both of them will do what's best for the team." Sam nodded once, sharply, and then quietly moved out of the locker room, prepared to do his job.

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A/N: Let me know what you think. It's hard to write about Sam in an episode he wasn't in!


	10. Chapter 10 Remote Control

FF_992224_741680029 8/25/11

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint.

A/N: I'm not exactly happy with how this came out, but I needed to move on.

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Sam did his best not to think on his way home. He just focused on pedaling and enjoying the fresh air. He focused on enjoying the positive results of the incident: Maya Fraser and her baby were ok. And Justin didn't do something he'd regret for the rest of his life.

Entering his apartment, Sam tossed his keys down on the side table and piled everything else on the armchair. He sighed as he let go of the rigid control of his thoughts. So, it was done. Jules was back. There could be no other explanation of the relieved smile on her face as she hugged Greg. And Sam was happy for her; he really was.

But this was going to complicate his life. For all the good his vacation did for him, he still hadn't gotten over Jules. Sam knew he never would. Still, he'd do his best to focus on her happiness. He'd just have to be happy that she was happy.

Sam was also glad this incident had resolved any questions about Donna's ability to do what needed to be done. She'd taken that shot and saved the hostage's life along with the life of her unborn child. They all knew the gang leader wasn't going to give up. And Sam hadn't ever felt any more helpless, looking for and not finding a solution. He'd been so relieved to hear Ed's voice relaying the woman's safety. Sam wished Donna well on Team Three. He harbored no hard feelings, but he was glad to have his team – his family, whole again, no matter how much it complicated his life.

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A/N: Let me know what you think. :)


	11. Chapter 11 Perfect Storm

FF_992224_1394865453 10/2/11

A/N: I hope you're all still enjoying these. And I don't own Flashpoint.

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Sam hadn't meant to say it out loud. He didn't really want to admit it. But then Jules asked about his time off and he'd just blurted it out. He couldn't stop himself from spilling just how hard it was to answer his mom's questions. He knew it only showed how pathetic he still was about the situation. He didn't really want her to know how far he'd fallen and how low he still was. But really – Jules was always the one single person he could confide in. Sam sighed in frustration and depression. Knowing he couldn't continue to dwell on the situation, he forced his thoughts away and shifted his focus to the discussion in the Briefing Room.

Sam knew Jules was nervous about her first call after coming back. He knew her well enough to know the feelings were there no matter how many times she said she was ready or fine. He was glad it was just her and him in the lunchroom so he could give her the backup, but also the space she needed. He was able to ground her overreaction with just one word. And with that support, just like that – she really was fine.

They'd been so close – so close to ending the situation without any more injuries. Sam bitterly wished they'd gotten to the Art room just a little bit sooner: in enough time to stop Officer Price from bursting into the already volatile scene. But you couldn't always control everything. And this just highlighted how necessary the special training was that the SRU needed and used every day.

He wished Jules' first day back could have been easier. But at least she knew she was all the way back, too. She knew she could still handle the tough ones. And he'd always have her back.

Sam silently watched as Ed went in to talk to the boss. He hoped Ed got through to him. The boss always reminded everyone else that you could only do your best. But Sam thought he forgot that himself, sometimes. He always expected to find the right answer right away. Sam nodded absently, his thoughts still swirling, as Spike and Lew asked if he wanted to go for a drink. It would be good to go out with the guys. He hadn't done it in a while and it would hold off his next round of ceiling-watching that much longer.

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A/N: Does anyone know when Flashpoint will resume in the US?


	12. Chapter 12 Last Dance

FF_992224_1321284215 11/25/2011

A/N: This chapter is self-beta'd so any mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint.

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Sam could feel her eyes on him and he unobtrusively slid his gaze her way. When their eyes met, Sam felt that familiar rush of feelings like a punch to his gut. He didn't look away, though he kept his feelings out of his eyes. Memories of the conversation they'd had earlier, when Jules had commented that she didn't want to get him in trouble with the little woman played through his head, but he didn't release her gaze.

No matter what he said, no matter what he did, his feelings remained the same. He'd tried to kill them. He had. He'd gone on his vacation fully intending to find someone who would help him forget Jules even existed. But every interaction with another woman had felt hollow. So he never moved past introductions and the weather. And then he'd come back to a Jules who was as sarcastic and biting as if he was the one to break it off with her. And he wasn't sure how to protect himself from her bitterness.

He'd known Jules was listening to his phone conversation after they'd been asked to stay. That's why he'd played it up a little. But it was just a "date" with an old military buddy for drinks and dinner. Now he was going to have to explain to Ace why he'd been playing games over the phone. And it still hadn't helped on the Jules front.

Sam's eyes softened as he thought about Evan and what he'd been prepared to do for his Laura. He understood feelings that deep. And yet just a few years ago, he wouldn't have. He'd have scoffed Evan off as a weak, pathetic pansy who was so tied up in a woman; he couldn't face life without that crutch. But he knew now that love that deep wasn't a crutch. It was a lifeline; a foundation; a strength in and of itself.

Sam felt a lump filling his throat and he tore his eyes away from Jules. Pain stabbed through him at the recognition of the realities of his situation. He and Jules were no longer together. And they weren't going to be. She wanted it that way. Although Sam had seen her regret when he met her eyes, he knew that didn't change anything. They were now just teammates, nothing more.

And yet, Sam saw more than regret in Jules' eyes. He saw bitterness. He didn't understand it, because Jules had made it clear how things were going to be. She'd laid down the law. She'd taken the stand. Sam had simply complied with her wishes. He silently wondered how long he'd pay for that. Was he supposed to have fought her on that? He didn't know. And it didn't matter. Because he would never fight her on something she felt so strongly about. He'd seen her resolve and determination in the coffee shop where they'd had their "talk". And he loved her enough to give her what she wanted; even if it tore him apart.

So yes, he understood Evan and his choices. He couldn't even say he wouldn't make the same ones himself, given the same situation.

Sam jerked, startled, as the others began getting up and leaving the Briefing Room. He had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't heard Greg tell them to all go home and get a good night's rest. He twisted his mouth into a smirk of acknowledgement when Lou poked him and told him to get a move on before the Sarge changed his mind. Getting up, he moved in a comradely fashion with his teammates, readying to leave just as they did, but knowing he wouldn't get that good night's rest he'd been ordered to find. Instead he'd be searching his ceiling, trying to find some way to counteract the feelings he still felt for his teammate; just trying to find some kind of peace.

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A/N: Thanks for reading - let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13 Exit Wounds

FF_992224_181212718 11/25/2011

A/N: Any mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint

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Walking around St. Patrick's with Jules again, it brought back so many memories: both good and bad. The heart-stopping terror after she'd been shot: waiting and wondering how bad it was; would she recover; how long it would take her to recover. And then the overwhelming relief when she'd opened her eyes and he knew - finally knew in his bones, that she was alive. That's when he really realized the depth of his feelings for her. Sure, he'd had hints before. But he would gladly have taken her place, if it meant that Jules would be safe and unharmed.

He silently contemplated those memories, staring up at his ceiling. He felt the warmth from the memories of Jules in her panda slippers, holding onto his arm, walking the corridors. He'd been happy then. Ok, if he was being honest with himself, he'd been happier then. But even then, he'd known – somewhere inside him, he'd known that it wasn't going to last. That Jules didn't care for him like he cared – no loved, her. He'd always known that she was going to push him away. And yet he'd stayed anyway. He'd stayed because she needed him. And he meant what he'd told her in those hospital corridors: that everyone needs to be needed – even him.

Sam snorted when he thought about the aftermath of the call. Everyone had been a bit giddy after everything was over: Jules just soaking in the romance between Derek and Trudy; Spike gloating about his take-down; Greg with his quote, unquote review. Sam still couldn't believe the boss had outed them to the rest of the team. Although, now that he thought about it, no one had really seemed too surprised. Sam twisted his mouth into a pained smirk. He guessed they hadn't really been as discrete as they had thought. Not that it mattered now. Now there was nothing to conceal. They were just two teammates who had a history.

Sam's smirk slid off his face as the pain of that thought twisted through him, though he was glad Jules seemed to have given up the bitterness she'd shown towards him. He'd missed her friendship as much as their more intimate relationship. And though he still longed for the latter, he was determined to make do with the former. It was what she wanted, after all. And Sam knew he'd always give Jules what she wanted, no matter what it cost him. He resolutely closed his eyes and tried to focus on sleep, forcing the pain of their broken relationship into a room in his mind and locking the door to keep it inside. It was corny, but the visualization helped him put it behind him and his eyes grew heavy with weariness. Sam sighed softly and finally let himself give in to the silent comfort of sleep.

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A/N: As always, it helps to know what you think about this chapter. Also, since I've been going by the DVDs sold in the US, this is the last chapter for season two. I'm off to season three. Who knows, if my inspiration stays strong, I might actually catch up - but probably not. Real life always seems to interfere.


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